The Peacemaker, Ken Sande

Subtitled A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict, this is a non-fiction self-helpish book that delves into interpersonal relationships and outlines some biblical guidelines for resolving conflict.

I should start by saying that this is not the type of book I usually read. In fact, if I had not been required to read this book for a summer fellowship, I can pretty much guarantee I would never have cracked the cover. However, I've never been the type of student who doesn't do the reading (hence the reason I suffered through several Mark Twain books in high school), so I decided to make a go of it. Just under 300 pages long, it's a fairly fast read.

I was pleasantly surprised. Early in the book, there's a diagram entitled The Slippery Slope of Conflict. It's a half circle the lays out the "peace-faking" responses (suicide, flight, denial), "peace-making" ones (overlook, reconciliation, negotiation, mediation, arbitration, accountability), and "attack responses" (assault, litigation, murder). As a disclaimer, I'm the law student -- litigation is pretty much what keeps my profession in business. So I'll admit to being a tad wary. However, Sande does a great job throughout of distinguishing between circumstances in which litigation is appropriate (and, indeed, may be necessary) and cases where people simply jump the gun (it's amazing what idiotic things people will sue over!).

Additionally, Sande lays out an orderly and consistent approach to examining your own behavior. For my fellow Catholics out there, think of it as an examination of conscience with a twist of pop-psychology. Though at times he gets a little preachy, overall the balance of religious verse with a general analysis of conflict resolution is well-maintained.

My one big criticism is that Sande doesn't venture very far outside of Scripture. His examples work very well if the conflict is between two Christians (especially if they go to the same church), but I don't believe that he adequately addressed how Christians can take advantage of secular institutions, especially if the party with whom they are in disagreement is not a Christian.

So overall, I can't really say that I'd recommend this book. However, if you're looking for some guidance in resolving conflict in your life, this is definitely a good resource. Sande makes a good point when he notes that our society is quick to place people in adversarial relations. The problem with that posture is that it makes us very inward-oriented, when really we should be working in communion with those around us.

This will probably be the only book of this type that I'll review here. But since I had to read it, I figured I'd pass along the title -- maybe it'll come in handy for you someday.